Whenever you would call me, I'd always be right there,
When i really needed you you didn't seem to care.
I'm a stranger in your world, I don't know where to turn,
You like to watch me waste my tears, and then to crash and burn.
I can't love you anymore, I fell for you too fast,
You dropped me when I needed you, you put me in the past.

I'm better off without you, I'll stand against the rain,
A thousand angels dance around me, they protect me from the pain.
I could have been your angel, you could have been my all,
I needed you to catch me, instead you let me fall.

The ladies of Cow Creek decided they should learn First aid
Since Mrs. Johnson's Husband cut his foot off with a spade
She saw the poor old bugger fall and thought it was his heart
Then killed him jumping on his chest, trying to make it start

So they formed themselves a First Aid Club and hired out a Hall

When life has dealt you an unfair hand
And you feel like you've really been cheated
Don't get irate, spit teeth and curse fate;
Stay calm, chill out, and be seated.

When the Devil's shat in your laundry bin
And you feel you've been unfairly treated
Don't warble and bleat, stamping your feet;
Stay calm, chill out, and be seated.

She looks like a hooker, regular tart,
Owes her face less to nature than cosmetic art.
'Prostitute' or 'loose woman' are terms that might irk her,
So in sanitized speech she's now called a sex worker.

He's 'person of size', he's no longer fat,
These sick-making terms tell us all where we're at.
And if I am tiny, the folks must be taught,
I'm 'verti'c'lly challenged' - its rude to say 'short'

Met a miserable queer in the park one fine day,

He said, 'I am sad, its no fun being gay,
'I'm a 'person of colour', I do like to think,
But they might not accept that because I am pink.'

The Torment

Sorrow swallowed me into the cruel black sea,
The icy cold water washed over me,
Memories spin around in my mind,
Causing dark lucid dreams of every kind.
Grief and misery played their part,
Leaving behind a broken heart

The father smiled to see his child
Come running to his side.
'Please tell me, Daddy, what is meant
By that word 'sex'', she cried.

He looked aghast at this sweet girl -
She was but eight years old;
Too young, he thought and innocent
To break this childhood mould.